Gay Families
The majority of families used to consist of a traditional mum, dad and two children. Although gay and lesbian parents existed, they were not usually public and open about their sexual orientation. Communities may not have recognised them as ‘families’ or were they accepted. Nowadays many more gay and lesbian couples are choosing to start a family through adoption, fostering, donor conception or surrogacy. Gay families may be just the same as heterosexual families and encounter the same challenges; however they also have extra difficulties to consider.
Many gay and lesbian people struggle with the decision of whether to be open about their sexuality and this will impact upon the decision to have children and being open to friends, teachers and their children. Unfortunately many people still have negative feelings about gay and lesbian people and may find the concept of gay families different to adjust to. Parents also want to protect their children from any potential prejudice, teasing or even bullying, so may choose not to be openly ‘out’ in an attempt to make things easier. Not being honest, living in a secretive way has a downside and can make it difficult to sociably mix within the community. Whatever the choice, homophobia does make the decision a difficult one.
Ultimately children need to be raised in a loving and nurturing environment with responsible parents who can adequately meet their needs. Good parenting is not affected by sexuality and involves consistency and caring traits. Research has shown that gay and lesbian parents are just as likely as heterosexual parents to raise well-rounded, happy children with a healthy self-esteem.
Children from gay families can sometimes face prejudice and discrimination that other minorities face. It is important that teachers and other school officials are aware of the need to protect all children from any potential unfair treatment from school peers. Children who may are teased especially on a regular basis may suffer from low self-esteem or even depression. Schools must therefore be aware of need for strict anti-bullying policies.
Alternative families are far more widespread and accepted in recent years, however there are unfortunately some people who refuse to acknowledge that gay or lesbian parents can offer children a proper family environment. Attitudes do vary considerably depending upon which country, state or county you live in. Some gay people choose to live in areas which are more diverse and accepting in order to bring their children up in a more sociably accepting culture. Hopefully one day the majority of communities will be accepting of gay families.
Studies have shown that children raised in gay or lesbian families are more likely to be empathetic and understanding of others, possibly because they have personal understanding that judging someone is unfair. Lessons in kindness and consideration to others are important within all families and heterosexual parents can help by talking to their children about the struggles that other children or families face.