I am Singapore Chinese but we’d be happy to hear from donors of any oriental background, or perhaps South America, Tibet, Himalayas, where people have similar characteristics.
We didn't get married until I was 41 and started trying at 42. We spent much time and savings trying IVF six times with four different clinics, including Array CGH. We also needed ICSI. The last time we tried was in March 2010, when I was 45. This contributed to a toll on our marriage and we had couples counselling that year.
I think some people who suggest adoption rather than egg donation don’t understand the feeling of wanting to physically connect - I was adopted at birth by western parents, so had been brought up missing all the genetic family comparisons. It felt like a twisted blow when I realised I couldn’t have a child of my own to share my character traits with either. At least if we have egg donation my husband’s genes would be there and I’d dearly like to give birth to the child myself rather than use a surrogate.
We have visited all of the stalls at the London Fertility Show but most clinics only use anonymous donors and there are never any oriental ones there. It’s hard for us to sign up to these as we think it better if the child is given the opportunity to know who their biological parent is and what the circumstances are.
There is a demand for oriental egg donors but traditional Chinese do not believe in donating body parts and some donor agencies want endless fees. We went to Thailand and the US to speak to clinics and agents however we found it all very commercial. We’d rather someone donated who really wants to help and doesn’t see it as a regular income; also donating too often may not be good for the donor’s own welfare, although some agencies encourage it.
Life has whizzed by and I’m now fifty, fit and healthy as far as I know but on the edge of time for acceptance into UK clinics. Dear husband is forty-two.
We are praying and hoping there is someone out there who can donate or egg share, where perhaps they need someone to help pay the costs of their own IVF treatment. That could be us? We’d love to speak to you if you feel you can genuinely help. We are registered with the lovely Pride Angel if you’d like to contact us - our photo is also posted there.
Michelle and Matt
If you may be able to help Michelle and Matt start the family of their dreams, then please contact us via Pride Angel